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Welcome to The Journey, Lifencompass.

I’ve savored some ideas for a while about events that have taken place since about mid-December. This by no means a swift spit of writing and by the time this has come to you on the web, via RSS or right to your Facebook page I’ll have spent a good deal of time fleshing and massaging out these thoughts. This Journey Journal is called Fear, light, and healing, because it covers a period of transition and many moments over the last 6 or 8 weeks that are nothing short of transformational.

Between the message of the Tarot Weekly and watching events unfold around me within my circle, on the net, and in the world, I know I am not alone in this shift. I do wonder about the people who are consciously experiencing it. I mean to say, why is it a shared experience with some, even new people who comment, or that I meet, but not others? Well that is part of the exploration I suppose.

There is a bit of hesitation as I write this post. I have a deep intuition that not all should be, or can be shared, and so I’ve had to edit certain experiences to keep the integrity of the telling without spilling every single detail. I think that certain folks might find the details of the journey entirely in the realm of high fantasy, but that’s for them and this is me. This is my journey.

Makes me wonder about past readings (psychic) by many of the great women in my life who steered me to write, and not to speak…

The title of this post becomes my topics.



“When all’s said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it.” ~Charles de Lint

We’re in the midst of an awakening consciousness. I know I am, I believe you are, I can see that Egypt, indeed, is a vortex of a change, of ideas and thinking. It is happening now. I’ve been hesitant to write about this new birth partly because there is a voice inside of my heart that would only want to give to that birth and not those draconian regimes that would seek to suppress change, transformation, and light. Light of life. Light of consciousness. Light at the end of a long tunnel that is finally being reached. For the freedoms that people strive for. Freedoms we often don’t really respect or understand here in America.

They are fighting against the inhumanity of Autocratic power. Irregardless of his, President Hosni Mubarak, motives said or imagined, when all the power is in the hands of one or a few, it is not shared. It is not equal in my eyes. This is a macro-cosmic example of several things, political and spiritual. I’m talking about Saturn in Retrograde, in the sign of Libra. Balance. Fairness. Within the restrictive confines of Saturn’s Rings, once protective, once home, now begins the struggle for greater quality of life.

Please understand that this is a momentous event. What is happening now is this country is amazing but look over there at Egypt… and maybe the Muslim world! We are witnessing, and therefore connected to revolution. I do not mean, in any way shape or form, to dumb down or reduce what is happening over there, but “over there” in our day and age has almost become, right next door. This is a powerful, violent, change. My heart is with the people who support a people empowered government. No church. No dictator. Democracy? Freedom of choice. Liberty to choose. I hope that they grow this way in strength and as peaceful as possible.

I can’t think of many revolutions that have.

That said…

I’m personally also talking about the recent shifts. Some of you feel them. They’ve come up and open since sometime around December, near the Solstice, and increasing with intensity. The subtle and refined is open for the sensitive in new ways. I can honestly look back as early as October of 2010 and see the thinning points of high energy and spiritual gateways as points of acceleration. I believe that my friend “E” said that “the windows were opening and at a faster rate, so that we are now living in “real time.” I get that.

In more physical matters it feels to me as if the very elements of life have changed and only some people seem to notice.

Personally, my little microcosm of creation that I experience, I have begun my own birthing process. The world is changing. I am changing. I am changing. The world is changing.

She changes everything she touches
And everything she touches changes
Changes; Touches;
Touches; Changes




I’ve started something new and in that newness I’ve met my own prejudices against parts of myself…

Last year, in December *smile* I felt the wave begin to rise within me, a flow I watched in the world around me. I made two commitments. One to start the last leg of my Journey with the Temple of Witchcraft series, Christopher Penczak, The Living Temple of Witchcraft. I also, spurred by some lightening bolt, wrote into Luminessence and started the Awaken Your Light Body (which I will call AYLB) course by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packard; Or more exactly, Orin and Daben.

You may think that these are divergent teachings but at this point in the Living Temple series I’m doing more inner alchemy work than comparative study of philosophy… Together they actually work quite well. Witchcraft being the foundation of my practice, new energies and studies that accelerate my energetic field feel quit natural to me. It’s integration.

I said that I had met prejudices tho, didn’t I?

Yes, as I got into the AYLB and I found that the use of the word “light” made me think of what a Druid I once knew called (unedited), “Mambe Pamby White Light Nazi’s.” The use of the word light and my impression from certain factions within society that use it so much that it drove me away from the movement around it. Light. Light-Light. White light. etc. etc. etc.

Not very Witchy of me.

Then as I relaxed into the learning I began to explore what this light, or energy, really is. Wow. I can even surprise myself. Light isn’t the blinding white brilliance that was on every new age movement sticker or advertisement all through the 1990’s. No it was the force that  moves. A light that awakens. A power that loves. A wisdom that shines. It comes in  many colors and vibrations… “Wait. I know this.” What  I thought just got in the way.

Their process is also a quickening. You can study at your own pace as they are audio files (disc and tape versions are still available) and you move with the attunements at your pace. My pace, I felt was relatively leisurely but the transmission of energy from the channeled beings Orin and Daben awaken the light body. It’s different, chakras are a part of it but the body of light they build is something new, familiar and yet alien, and the transmissions are lightening fast.

As I said, I surprised myself. I even had a freak out, which a few people know about as I consulted with some trusted sources. In short what I experienced was fear, as I changed rather abruptly, and then the “wow-we” opening that continually brings a sense of… I don’t know any other word for it but bliss, when I’m truly in it.

I’m still within that process. I have my tea, my oil, meditation, friends and presence to see my through this passage. It’s enlightening, it really is. The world is a different place.

Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know — all mystics — Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion — are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

As quoted in Approaching God : How to Pray (1995) by Steve Brown, p. 94 ~Anthony De Mello


Much of what changed I did experience in my day-to-day life. I came to a point where I dramatically broke down and I heard again and again the words, shaman’s death. This isn’t to say I am a shaman, and nor am I trying to illustrate some specialness about me. I’ve read a few things on the interwebs, personal accounts, and I just don’t have time for that ego association. I’m in it. If you know me, then you know what it is. If you have gone through it, then you also know what it is. As I posted on Facebook the other day, some  things cannot be expressed, they can only be experienced.

I can tell you about some of those changes.

The AYLB course popped my crown through the birthing channel and I’m not even 1/2 way through. I’m experiencing simple things like noticing the color, flavor, warmth, and feeling of most “light” around me, or sensing the subtle emotions that play through a conversation. My senses feel heightened.

In healing and intuiting I found some great changes. From my perspective I do not feel locked-into (what’s the word here..?) “drama.” I don’t know if that’s what I want to call it but I just can’t seem to respond in the way that some folks would like me to. I’m not asking to be tested (tee-hee!) but there have been some curious expressions as the rise that was expected did not follow.

Healing tho, that is different.

I want to say that there has been hesitation in the past around healing scenarios, although at any given time I would have said I was confident in my trust of the Gods and the Great Spirit but I can see now how I wasn’t, exactly. It’s like the difference between faith and knowing, or belief and trust. There was a moment when I sat here at my desk and I went through a meditation and the energy around me increased. There was something here that has always been with me… and now it is not.

In that moment I consciously affirmed to let it go, I realized it’s purpose and how it had helped me, but it wasn’t Master material and didn’t serve me any longer. Like a paper in a flame, it burned away. It wasn’t very dramatic. It passed that easily but once it had I was different.

Our last healing circle was pretty amazing for me. I know the boys got something out of it but I felt like that [early mentioned] hesitation was just gone. I was passing the energy almost playfully at times with a new sense of trust and knowing. This throws a ball at my teaching process, my materials, everything and I’m going to have to complete these journey’s to come to the place where I am ready to teach again.

Although that could be me just dropping blibbidy-blah and the Life Force Energy could call and I would come to the occasion. 🙂 In a place of trust I listen, and the way is known.

Fear. Light. Healing.

So this becomes the real process. Broken down it’s digestible, as a whole it can feel like a mess. We suffer fear, we wake up, and healing begins. This seems to be the phases that I have experienced and this is where I am now.

I have experienced physical healing before. I have seen things I could only call miraculous as people on the brink bounce back, and ladies with fractures stand up and walk in a healing situation but this was wellness made on a whole new level for me. It’s completion. It is drawing a new circle, spiraling wide, and exploring life all over again.

I think that makes me a born again Witch. Ha. Ha! Ha.

I can only hope that all of those going through a process like this personally or socially open up to the help that is really there for us if we reach out to it. You can call it higher ideas, angelic, god, goddess, whatever you want, but it’s there and in my experience when you trust it, when you open up to that inner reflection of spirit that is reaching back to you like the Creation of Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, that things can and do change.

If you can’t find it within you…

“And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.

For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire.”

~Doreen Valiente.

I am in the midst of my awakening -Yay me!- and having what my friend Chati calls, “the delicious exchanges of energy.”

Yes. Yes I am.

Be well,

– –

Scott K Smith
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Good morning.

Tarot Weekly: Monday, June 28th – Sunday, July 4th, 2010

Before I begin the Tarot Weeklies I wanted to express a few things about the nature of the work, and the purpose (vision). We know that there are different levels of energy, magick, and expression. Some are more spiritual and abstract, some more practical and directly influence the work we do here in this world. There are strengths and weaknesses in those workings, as we’ve seen in various forms there are energies that are stronger in the physical, affecting out blood and bone. These energies have little influence over the organizing intelligences of the lighter energy fields. That said these “lighter energies” (spiritual energies) gather a greater intelligence and can affect powerful organization on the denser energy of the body, but unless they can convince these “denser energies” to cooperate with the changes we wish to see (like our health for example), not much of what we want occurs.

I think one system that shows a perfect example of how the physical and spiritual energies interact, is Reiki. The power of Reiki (Lighter Energy) isn’t in it’s ability to heal, but to influence and let the body (denser energy) which has the greatest power to mend but needs an organizing influence to do so. Reiki moves in from subtle levels and through hands, or distance work, the energy begins to work on the denser energies of the physical and help us to shift back into a natural and healthy state of being. The Reiki cannot carry out healing, correcting the body’s health, without the bodies innate ability to regenerate and fight off illness. Regardless if the body in a state of shock, pain, illness, if it cannot organize the energies of the organism, it cannot create the healthy change that it needs.

This is where Reiki can be essential in a healing process if the body is already healing it can allow the natural intelligence with the directive and vitality that it needs. If conditions are more severe the Reiki will help shift that innate mind back in the right direction.

Why is this important for the weekly Tarot reading?

Naturally this *waves hands around my blog space* is all from my perspective, but it looks to me that the world is in a place, as a body organism, that is in need of corrective healing energy. By the world I mean, us and those that live in it. The energy we as a species generates through our thoughts, works, actions, and words. We have tremendous power as a people (generally speaking) but we’re “all over the place”… Which I suppose is our way. We fight, we love. We create, we destroy. We conserve, we burn up energy like it will always be available to us. We do these things because we can, or sometimes because we believe that something has a greater priority either by fearing it or championing it, and acting from that place. And the world keeps turning…

I believe that our purpose here on this planet is not only to live in harmony with it, naturally, but also as human beings we have the power to help each other by shifting our consciousness, so that regardless of our practice we can learn to acknowledge the tremendous power we actually have and our responsibility to all our relations.

That’s the path I follow. I shift my consciousness to the here-now while accessing the lighter energies, spiritual influences, to create the shift in the world around me. I don’t mean like shifting the war in Iraq, although enough of us probably could, I mean creating change in the relationships around me. The relationships we carry with each other, friends, family, associates. Our relationship with food, our environment, plants, animals, and nature. Our relationship with our self.

These three paths of relating are essential for survivability. Daily, they are the relations that we interact with (on some level). The way that we interact with our relationships is how we can gauge the focus of our consciousness. Knowing our focus we can then plumb the depths of our watery nature and understand the emotional vibration we are sending out into the world.

You, yes you, like me, are responsible for your own energy, your own expression of that vibe you are sending out; and we can begin to change it by focusing on how we relate to others. This is telling of the type of influence we are projecting into the world. Fearful? Negative? Mean? Are we loving? Kind? Creative? Insightful?

Do our bodies, vehicles for our All, traveling through the world leave a path of blind and senseless destruction? Chaos? Beauty? Love? Do people fear us or engender us with kindness, helpfulness, friendship, and companionship?

This weeks energies are calling to us and focusing on tuning the mind into two frequencies, both dense and light, to see our own energy and explore the actions and emotional frequencies we are transmitting to others around us. We can explore this through getting centered and working the spiritual paths, our energetic and emotional body, and also by looking at the world around us, right near our hearts, head, and body to see how our relations respond to us.

Although there is an element of thinking involved in this observation your seat of power is really your emotional nature. This seat tells us two things, when we sit down in it and get comfortable. How we interact emotionally with the world and if we rule, or are ruled-by, our emotions. It also tells us what vibratory level we are carrying into the world. Our emotional self is like a vessel of water and it’s rate of vibration is indicative of what we are giving to the world. This is our temper or tone. How you feel is what you vibrate. Your vibration is the vehicle for all that you send. All that we do is a gift into creation, and it returns to you. The longer you generate your emotional energy the more you sustain the vibration you are creating. Changing the tone of that vibration can change the entire transmission going out of us and into the world, and this returns, affirming that shift in consciousness.

This shift affects the world around us as well. The lighter frequencies go out into (by being grounded) the physical world (denser frequencies) through our changed behavior. This doesn’t mean that we suddenly take on different morals or become different people, essentially we are the same person once we know who that being is beneath all the chatter. It is an opportunity to adjust our frequencies personally so that we can better communicate our joys, passions, loves, desires, and will for a better world into the world around us.

There is a great exercise in Awakening to Shamanism, the Path of Direct Revelation. Transfiguration.

“This Transformation of the physical being into light is seen everywhere as a spiritual rebirth in which the visionary becomes a luminous being who has access to the spirits and spiritual realms.”


Sandra Ingerman writes,

“To experience this divine state of your own immortal light, it is good to do some preparation. It can be experienced in a myriad of ways. According to Hank, many discover that it is like a tightly woven basket or cloud composed of lines or light that create an elongated, orb-like luminous field. For some it is the bright darkness of the void. Some will see this field visually; others simply sense utter peace and tranquility in which they often feel the light expand within themselves or perceive it behind their closed eyelids.”

The later, after you have readied yourself for journey work…

“It is important to note that in this experience you are not journeying outside of yourself into another world. You are actually traveling within to experience your inner light so that it can shine through you. Many people actually perceive it as a luminous visual phenomenon against the darkened field of their closed eyes.

You might begin the journey by repeating the following intention: “Thank you for taking from me that which keeps me separate from my spiritual light, my divine perfection, the source, and the state of oneness.”

(SCOTT: IMO you should feel free to substitute these words with whatever sort of intention that best suites your personal magickal / spiritual path).

“This intention at the journey’s onset tells your helping spirits and the universe that you want to transform the form of your body and the thoughts that fil your mind. This, in turn, will bring you into a state of oneness with your source, your personal creator, your god-self, and beyond that with the god or the goddess, the power of the universe, or whatever you wish to call the source of all things.

As you repeat your intention you wil find that your helping spirits may hep you create a way for your body and mind to dissolve so that you may begin to experience yourself as pure spiritual light. Keep breathing and experience this wonderful state. Soon you might feel a change in the change in the vibration of your body. You can stay in this state for the length of the drumming, or for anywhere from fifteen to thirty minutes while you are listening to the music (See CD). This is enough time to truly give you the experience of transfiguration.

When we keep up our transfiguration work and have an experience of our inner light, we also start to find our eyes shining-reflecting that we have touched into the place of inner joy and inner wealth as the indigenous shamans do. In this way we bring more light into our own lives and the world.”

Awakening to Shamansim, The Path of Direct Revelation, Pgs. 171-171
Sandra Ingerman

You can practice this exercise or some other exercise that is more to your own tastes, or you can simply keep your awareness centered in the emotional body. Pay attention to the message of the vibration, and note how/when/if you can and should shift it to help create the beneficial, natural, healthy changes in our relationships that support our greater well-being.

Your cards for this weeks meditation have been: The Star. The Queen of Cups. Three of Pentacles.

– – –

Be well,

Scott K Smith

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Can I tell you that I had a terrible time with this card? Well I did. The Tarot Journey is a journey through the energy of the cards and this time around I must have had some grave dust in my ears because I wasn’t getting the message. Fortunately, with the help of a friend I was able to understand the message.


Dying isn’t always about loosing one’s life. In the natural cycle death occurs every year in the seasons and every month in the turning of the moon. As a human being it is threaded into the death and rebirth cycle of of my life I live and die and am reborn in many ways.

Death is more than change. In fact I really can’t stand that blanket generalization. As if we should neuter this state of transition, by safely calling it “change”.

Death is inevitable, will happen to all things, and many times it is sudden. Death isn’t just change. It isn’t fluffy. It can be sacred, we can be part of a passage, we can help others through that final step on this side but rarely is it just a Hallmark “change”. We change our underwear, our jobs, our home or outlook. These are changes, they are not necessarily death in the mystical sense of the word.

In the Tarot of the Spirit Companion book, Pamela writes:

Death comes
beating drums
screaming out the low wail
of Fate and Doom
Time has Come!
too soon! too soon! I scream, be gone!
knowing full well, all the while
it is late night; has come the dark hour; no dawn-
but corpses strewn about the strand
rolling twixt sand and sea

stretches out her boney claw
brushing hand and boot
and touches soul
screaming all the while
Come Brethren! Beat the Drum!
Sister! Brother!
Pound the Nail!
Time! Time! Time! Time!
has come! Come! Come! Come!

Hear not the horses scream
but bleeding beating hooves with every crash upon  the shore
submerging to emerge again
throwing off the old forms
waves of inert stagnation
fatal moves
grasping for gestation, fetal moves,
another breath-

The icy transformation of Death comes to
casting off the empty shell of
dead and bootless


When death comes in a metaphoric sense to the uninitiated we are looking at loss from a sense of fear. This job, relationship, lifestyle or mode of being has ended, and like many fear related reactions we have this guttural, primal brain reaction of hold on, struggle, anger, deny and grieve… but this is our nature striving to hold onto basic, survival needs (responses, expectations, fears and desires). This is not the deeper, self.

Death to the initiate, the seeker, the traveler with purpose, is beauty in the grace of sacrifice, the honor and gratitude in remembrance. It is the open-eyed largesse of spirit, embracing birth. More, yes, more, it is the seeking of the mind that is conscious of the death/rebirth.

Who was I / Who am I / How do I relate, act, become in this world in which I am a new being?

Attuning to the cards I call upon the energy, I invite it under the auspices of my intentions, what is Death then to me, entered into my life?

I said I struggled with this card, this attunement, and I’m not kidding.

Suddenly it is as if some part of my self, some layer was confining me. The word I used to my friend, and the healer that helped guide me through part of the process Nancy Stenn, was “Caul”. Smartly, Nancy said:

“to the extent that the death card also encompasses rebirth, that part feels right…  so, your word choice even lends itself to a birthing process — like breaking out of the chrysalis.”

I had to think.

One of our little finned friends died, Marriah pretty goldfish went into the statue of the Reiki Buddha in her tank and passed. Abruptly. The next morning she was floating lifeless around at the bottom. ACK! What a reflection. I was strangely removed from any feeling about her death. Brandon said some words of passage, I said mine silently and we let Marriah go.

There was an incredible resistance in me to this death/rebirth thing. I felt as if I was in a chrysalis, or caul, and that I could not break through. I snapped at people, anger issues were eclipsing my day-to-day, I had some pretty negative thoughts and all the while I felt removed from it. I felt that it was me, but not me. Two separate beings. One saying hello, one saying goodbye.

I have a dream.

I am asked to go with a friend to a “crystal shop” but I tell them that I don’t want to go because I thought it was this ‘Guru place’ I had heard about and I really didn’t agree with the ideology. Friend says, ‘no it’s changed. I think it is more what you are looking for.’

We walk into an old house-turned-crystal center and there are these gigantic crystal and stone pieces that have been unearthed, cleaned up and placed around the room. My friend points me to a tall brown agate-like piece, deftly polished, and she says, “Listen. It is a Grandfather inside.” I speak to the stone.

At this point I see my friend/mother Maria in the corner and she is watching me as I walk around the perimeter of the room. She is not speaking but sitting, aware.

I turn and find a crevasse in the center. A huge dark maw of an opening in the floor, lined with sandstone, glitters of gold and other minerals riddling the walls that descend into utter darkness. This is where the stones have been unearthed, this is the source of these beautiful formations.

I crawl into the opening and begin to scale into the darkness, looking for more of these fantastic earthy treasures. The walls begin to fall away. As I grab and reach for a better hand hold, rethinking purchase on the walls the crumble and fall into darkness.

I hear no crash. It is as if the stones are falling into oblivion.

It is then that I try to climb out but I realize that my perch has become quite unstable. A rock falls away at the top to reveal a large spider. I think to myself, “spider? Really? this is a fear symbol?” In the dream I see the ridiculousness of the totem. I think, “I am the weaver” and I begin to grab onto something more stable, or want for something more secure as the walls continue to break away beneath my hands.

It seems I will fall into the blackness. Then…

Maria stops watching and walks over to the edge. She says, “I think you  need a hand kid.” and she pulls me up out of the pit by my shoulders. I am no longer in the crevasse, I am on stable ground again.

I wake.

For me, this type of quest is a mystical experience of discovery. I do not expect, I embrace. I move forward as best I can, meditate, sketch and compare what I experience to what I know and relate what I can when I do not, yet I still feel (at this point) that I am not getting the message. What is this death?

Nancy  points out, again.

“~ Maybe there are aspects that don’t need to heal, and the ‘death’ is putting them to rest without deeper understanding?  Maybe that’s why the universal “?” card follows the Death card…”

And you know what… I see it. I get it.

Death is final in the sense that it has happened and the rest is holding on, grabbing for purchase that is not there, that crumbles away beneath me. Sitting in that (dreamed) crevasse and trying to find purchase is holding onto the form that has fallen away.

The psychological part of me that passed has passed and so there is no hand hold, no grasp that could be made to secure myself. It -that “once was me” that walked and talked and did in a certain way, has entered the earth and the mysteries.

With that in mind, I knew that I had to move forward. I then turned the card on my altar, the next step on the Tarot Journey, and I receive (what I call) the Universal Card, what Pamela Eakins has named, The Mystery Card.

The River of Life moves strangely.
It is always moving.
Yet it never goes anywhere.
Where did it come from?
Where did it go?
It moves like an infinite snake
across the infinite landscape
of Time and Space.
I fling out my net,
and yet, I catch nothing.
The River dissolves in a Sea
where neither Time or Space exist.
I see then, that,
through all the shifting change,
I remain at Heart, my Self,
the Full Emptiness of the One life,
where You, Dear One, and I,
are Forever Entwined in Infinite Love.

This card, to me, embodies the creative tool. A pen. A brush. A sculpting hand. It asks, What will I create? What will I do? It says to me, What can be?

In the days that followed I backed away from the drama-of-death thing. I chided myself thinking that I of course would over-process something that I should have recognized as a time to let go.

When I let go. When I allowed my Universal Mind to bring me out of that dreamed gaping chasm into an earthy unknown, and focused on what could be, I found a deep curiosity in imagining the future as it could be.

This particular Tarot Journey is about many things but intently about taking what I know and do and making something of it. Stepping out with my creative and magickal self and forging a new way of being, bringing myself into the groove of doing with my authentic self, the journey is about becoming for the community in which I live.

The passage through this point of uncertainty is a release of something… what it is, does not matter because it is so old and outmoded, so lived to the fullest, the best that I can do is to honor its passage by letting it go. Holding on is an impossibility.

When I got that, when I realized this gift of insight, something broke free within me. My friend Joji, who I shared my dream with at the office said, “You know what you do when you get to that point in a dream, when you are afraid to let go and fall? You let go!”.

He’s right.

Sometimes Death is just letting go.

With love,

Scott K Smith

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