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Journey Journal: (1) My ramblings in a blog. (2) back-end thoughts, less editing, more processing. (3) self-indulgent chatter which I really hope you “get.”

I’m sitting in my office listening to the Herbal Highway and inhaling heavy doses of Hyssop (organic) essential oil. Believe it or not, it’s not Young Living! AAAH! I’m a traitor. Well no, just a smart shopper. It was less expensive, still organic, and part of the ingredients for my sweetening spell last week. Speaking of…

In the last week it seems like I’ve been slowly dropping off the grid. Each time I say that to myself I visualize an egg sliding off the side of a car. I’m reading posts and status updates, twitter conversations by friends and my mental grip on the virtual world is… has, relaxed. I’m at the point where I’m questioning the fist and fingers as well as the immaterial connection that the internet offers.

I think that is parable for my life at the moment.

Over the last 20 + years I have spent my life almost entirely to a journey towards the self. Who am I? Why am I? What am I? The path was fraught with dangers, swollen with love, coming together, moving apart, and travels to places I hadn’t thought I would ever see. There has always been an undercurrent of discontent. An itch, something I call my Gypsy Spirit, that has caused travel. And travel has “been had.”

I’ve been around the world and I, I , I… I have found something I called my self thanks to that urge to move about.

Thursday as I showered before work, I thought to myself “Found and Lost.” You see, now that I am (think I am?) finally in touch with what I identify as the true me, I’m realizing that I am lost about my direction. There is a giant sign that says You Are Here but there doesn’t seem to be a signpost of where to go next.

It’s nothing but a bit of confusion, I’m fairly certain of the feeling and texture of that “I’ that I know but the manifestation is about as elusive as a Quetzal. That tiny, gorgeously plumed little bird that I only had the smallest of glimpses of while I was in Guatemala.

A flash of color in the peripheral, through the green and mist of the jungle.

I feel it coming. I hear the whisper of wings. I know the color as a flavor, and a feeling but I cannot define it. Like the Quetzal it feels real and bright, if I could just wrap my vision around it… I guess that falls into this weeks reading.

The path is calling. The draw to move into a new direction, or begin a new project is felt, but just not yet. Test the waters, refine your thoughts, mull over a cup of tea and have a little faith.

Be innocent with yourself.

So… I guess that is where I will unroot myself, to move with trust. To be the Fool. Embrace my spirit.

Temple of Witchcraft Journey

The Living Temple of Witchcraft (ToLW) work is going well. It’s definitely part of the process unfolding. I’ve moved through the first two Chakra Initiations with little issue while integrating the experiences from the Inner Mystery School. To explain that, in the series we create / discover the Inner Temple. Thus the name of the first book in the series, Inner Temple of Witchcraft. In the LToW we focus the energies of our inner temple to become a place of learning or a “mystery school,” where the journey takes place.

For example, the first series of exercises were based around the Root (Muladhara) brought me into connection with life and energy associated with first peoples, or ancient civilizations. I didn’t see Atlantis, Mu, or even Lemuria. I believe I was somewhere in Northern Africa. Who and when that was irrelevant to you but the message was interestingly clear from a two spirit called Aya-ut.

Aya-ut was a weaver. He drew reeds from the marshes and with the use of mud, stone, and plant materials he traveled with his people up and down a river fishing, gathering, living. He was a male but lived and dressed as a female, he participated in the women’s duties. Aya-ut was a spiritual functionary… and that is to say it felt as if everyone had a sense of their place within the spiritual cosmology that was woven but Aya-ut provided the weave for his people through story, song, and the tales woven into his baskets.

Life, he said, is all woven together as one. We are weavers, each of us, part of a great design, a big basket of everything.

It was an interesting confirmation for me, “weaving” together many aspects of my own personal philosophy and many of my creative and intellectual interests. For some time my chant has included “I am weaver.” When I reached the end of this focus on the Root my thoughts turned back to the present and some of the basic issues of the Muladhara, namely survival.

The second journey in the ToLW is the  Swadhisthana. The Second Chakra. If you’ve read along, this particular exploration lined up interestingly with the Light Body Course, meeting my inner Master and expanding feeling and awareness. These were separate lessons by different teachers and coincidentally had the same message. Here in the Inner Mystery School on another journey, through the gate of ancestors and I met a Northern European (I guessed around what we now think of as Germany) by the name of Uli.

Uli, yes I googled the name after, was a female, dark-haired, in what appeared to be Neolithic Northern Europe (I’m basing this on feeling), who’s lessons I am still referring back to and will probably continue to visit since the ideas were so rich and opening for me.

Uli expanded on the tapestry that Aya-ut was crafting for me. Her practice was finding an open space out from the forest, in the wide plane where the moon, stars, and all things could be seen from a vantage. Her world view was all that I see and experience is what we would call “Spiritual.” Uli and Moon were one. Uli and land were one… she was one with all things, and all things were one with her. On the one had that seems very tribal or shamanistic, but that also felt like a very “new age” concept.

I also don’t know much about Neolithic Europe historically speaking and I can’t say that I’ve seen this as a world view. It’s my understanding that things were a bit more Polytheistic then with a spiritual cosmology based around Gods and their hierarchy, traditions, songs, rituals, etc. (Br. Christopher if you are reading this, pip in to clarify). 🙂

I’m not a scholarly buff, I just tend to know something or experience it from a mystical perspective. The moon at 3:00 pm in the sign of Taurus, on the day of Venus, for a love spell… ARGH! I leave that to the (clearly) more qualified. That said, it isn’t that I don’t use correspondences, I just don’t have the mind to track, plot, and enjoy the process of it. Feels like math.

Maybe one day I’ll get there but until then I’m able to do much of my work simply by visualizing, sometimes with Mudra’s or chanting / toning. Candle work, stones, oils, spirits, etc.

Right. So… where was I? Oh yeah, Uli and the second temple.

Christopher Penczak wrote that the “challenge” of this temple was fear, and that the “blessing” was trust. For myself, also true. The lesson plan as far as my journey work, and so mirrored in my life, is fear v. trust as I move into guide, and master work. I find that fear inhibits the very mystical experience of the Light Body Course and the initiatory information that transmits during the meditation. The more I trust in the experience that is being had the greater I receive, the more expanded my experience becomes. This also applies to the temple journey’s, to the magickal process, to my self.

Do I not stand in perfect love, and perfect trust?

Pulling down the thoughts at the top of the page, it leaves me with a feeling of fulfillment and a strong sense of purpose, I seem to be “in the process” but the bigger picture is still hidden. I have less of an itch to leave and more of a desire to fulfill. Being in my process, this is where I am until the way is made clear.

As I move into next week I travel into the third temple, solar plexus, or Manipura, power, I’m looking forward to what other lessons and insights can be learned.

The experience that the ToW books have brought me are fantastic. If you are looking to explore your inner world, learn the Craft, or tighten up your knowledge I highly suggest them. It takes time, years even, dedication, and a willingness to expand as a living, breathing, being into a magickal self.

Enjoy.

The Living Temple of Witchcraft, Vl. 1,
By Christopher Penczak

Click for more information

Venture deeper into the mysteries of witchcraft and discover within yourself new levels of wisdom, love, power, and responsibility. In the fifth installment of the award-winningTemple of Witchcraft series, popular author Christopher Penczak explores the Descent of the Goddess. In the myth of Inanna, the Goddess journeys through seven gates to attain entrance to the Underworld and learn its secrets. In this unique book on witchcraft, you will parallel this descent by journeying through each of the seven chakras, symbolically evolving from survival to a state of divinity. Each lesson has meditations based on the teachings of this journey, as well as an advanced discussion of a key facet of magick or witchcraft often overlooked by intermediate books:

A pagan exploration of the Great Ages  •  The measure of initiation • The reason for being skyclad  •  Power and the Right and Left Hand Paths • The power of healing  •  Ethics and codes of conduct  •  Working with soul history • Working with your Master-Teacher •  Discovering your own spiritual laws
Receiving your secret names of the Goddess and God

The Living Temple of Witchcraft, Volume One: The Descent of the Goddess is for solitaries, eclectics, and non-traditional witches who are ready to integrate the mysteries and magick into their ministry and share their gifts with the world.

Be well,

– –

Scott K Smith
http://lifencompass.com
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Welcome to The Journey, Lifencompass.

I’ve savored some ideas for a while about events that have taken place since about mid-December. This by no means a swift spit of writing and by the time this has come to you on the web, via RSS or right to your Facebook page I’ll have spent a good deal of time fleshing and massaging out these thoughts. This Journey Journal is called Fear, light, and healing, because it covers a period of transition and many moments over the last 6 or 8 weeks that are nothing short of transformational.

Between the message of the Tarot Weekly and watching events unfold around me within my circle, on the net, and in the world, I know I am not alone in this shift. I do wonder about the people who are consciously experiencing it. I mean to say, why is it a shared experience with some, even new people who comment, or that I meet, but not others? Well that is part of the exploration I suppose.

There is a bit of hesitation as I write this post. I have a deep intuition that not all should be, or can be shared, and so I’ve had to edit certain experiences to keep the integrity of the telling without spilling every single detail. I think that certain folks might find the details of the journey entirely in the realm of high fantasy, but that’s for them and this is me. This is my journey.

Makes me wonder about past readings (psychic) by many of the great women in my life who steered me to write, and not to speak…

The title of this post becomes my topics.

Fear

 

“When all’s said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it.” ~Charles de Lint


We’re in the midst of an awakening consciousness. I know I am, I believe you are, I can see that Egypt, indeed, is a vortex of a change, of ideas and thinking. It is happening now. I’ve been hesitant to write about this new birth partly because there is a voice inside of my heart that would only want to give to that birth and not those draconian regimes that would seek to suppress change, transformation, and light. Light of life. Light of consciousness. Light at the end of a long tunnel that is finally being reached. For the freedoms that people strive for. Freedoms we often don’t really respect or understand here in America.

They are fighting against the inhumanity of Autocratic power. Irregardless of his, President Hosni Mubarak, motives said or imagined, when all the power is in the hands of one or a few, it is not shared. It is not equal in my eyes. This is a macro-cosmic example of several things, political and spiritual. I’m talking about Saturn in Retrograde, in the sign of Libra. Balance. Fairness. Within the restrictive confines of Saturn’s Rings, once protective, once home, now begins the struggle for greater quality of life.

Please understand that this is a momentous event. What is happening now is this country is amazing but look over there at Egypt… and maybe the Muslim world! We are witnessing, and therefore connected to revolution. I do not mean, in any way shape or form, to dumb down or reduce what is happening over there, but “over there” in our day and age has almost become, right next door. This is a powerful, violent, change. My heart is with the people who support a people empowered government. No church. No dictator. Democracy? Freedom of choice. Liberty to choose. I hope that they grow this way in strength and as peaceful as possible.

I can’t think of many revolutions that have.

That said…

I’m personally also talking about the recent shifts. Some of you feel them. They’ve come up and open since sometime around December, near the Solstice, and increasing with intensity. The subtle and refined is open for the sensitive in new ways. I can honestly look back as early as October of 2010 and see the thinning points of high energy and spiritual gateways as points of acceleration. I believe that my friend “E” said that “the windows were opening and at a faster rate, so that we are now living in “real time.” I get that.

In more physical matters it feels to me as if the very elements of life have changed and only some people seem to notice.

Personally, my little microcosm of creation that I experience, I have begun my own birthing process. The world is changing. I am changing. I am changing. The world is changing.

She changes everything she touches
And everything she touches changes
Changes; Touches;
Touches; Changes

~Starhawk

 

Light

I’ve started something new and in that newness I’ve met my own prejudices against parts of myself…

Last year, in December *smile* I felt the wave begin to rise within me, a flow I watched in the world around me. I made two commitments. One to start the last leg of my Journey with the Temple of Witchcraft series, Christopher Penczak, The Living Temple of Witchcraft. I also, spurred by some lightening bolt, wrote into Luminessence and started the Awaken Your Light Body (which I will call AYLB) course by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packard; Or more exactly, Orin and Daben.

You may think that these are divergent teachings but at this point in the Living Temple series I’m doing more inner alchemy work than comparative study of philosophy… Together they actually work quite well. Witchcraft being the foundation of my practice, new energies and studies that accelerate my energetic field feel quit natural to me. It’s integration.

I said that I had met prejudices tho, didn’t I?

Yes, as I got into the AYLB and I found that the use of the word “light” made me think of what a Druid I once knew called (unedited), “Mambe Pamby White Light Nazi’s.” The use of the word light and my impression from certain factions within society that use it so much that it drove me away from the movement around it. Light. Light-Light. White light. etc. etc. etc.

Not very Witchy of me.

Then as I relaxed into the learning I began to explore what this light, or energy, really is. Wow. I can even surprise myself. Light isn’t the blinding white brilliance that was on every new age movement sticker or advertisement all through the 1990’s. No it was the force that  moves. A light that awakens. A power that loves. A wisdom that shines. It comes in  many colors and vibrations… “Wait. I know this.” What  I thought just got in the way.

Their process is also a quickening. You can study at your own pace as they are audio files (disc and tape versions are still available) and you move with the attunements at your pace. My pace, I felt was relatively leisurely but the transmission of energy from the channeled beings Orin and Daben awaken the light body. It’s different, chakras are a part of it but the body of light they build is something new, familiar and yet alien, and the transmissions are lightening fast.

As I said, I surprised myself. I even had a freak out, which a few people know about as I consulted with some trusted sources. In short what I experienced was fear, as I changed rather abruptly, and then the “wow-we” opening that continually brings a sense of… I don’t know any other word for it but bliss, when I’m truly in it.

I’m still within that process. I have my tea, my oil, meditation, friends and presence to see my through this passage. It’s enlightening, it really is. The world is a different place.

Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know — all mystics — Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion — are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

As quoted in Approaching God : How to Pray (1995) by Steve Brown, p. 94 ~Anthony De Mello

Healing

Much of what changed I did experience in my day-to-day life. I came to a point where I dramatically broke down and I heard again and again the words, shaman’s death. This isn’t to say I am a shaman, and nor am I trying to illustrate some specialness about me. I’ve read a few things on the interwebs, personal accounts, and I just don’t have time for that ego association. I’m in it. If you know me, then you know what it is. If you have gone through it, then you also know what it is. As I posted on Facebook the other day, some  things cannot be expressed, they can only be experienced.

I can tell you about some of those changes.

The AYLB course popped my crown through the birthing channel and I’m not even 1/2 way through. I’m experiencing simple things like noticing the color, flavor, warmth, and feeling of most “light” around me, or sensing the subtle emotions that play through a conversation. My senses feel heightened.

In healing and intuiting I found some great changes. From my perspective I do not feel locked-into (what’s the word here..?) “drama.” I don’t know if that’s what I want to call it but I just can’t seem to respond in the way that some folks would like me to. I’m not asking to be tested (tee-hee!) but there have been some curious expressions as the rise that was expected did not follow.

Healing tho, that is different.

I want to say that there has been hesitation in the past around healing scenarios, although at any given time I would have said I was confident in my trust of the Gods and the Great Spirit but I can see now how I wasn’t, exactly. It’s like the difference between faith and knowing, or belief and trust. There was a moment when I sat here at my desk and I went through a meditation and the energy around me increased. There was something here that has always been with me… and now it is not.

In that moment I consciously affirmed to let it go, I realized it’s purpose and how it had helped me, but it wasn’t Master material and didn’t serve me any longer. Like a paper in a flame, it burned away. It wasn’t very dramatic. It passed that easily but once it had I was different.

Our last healing circle was pretty amazing for me. I know the boys got something out of it but I felt like that [early mentioned] hesitation was just gone. I was passing the energy almost playfully at times with a new sense of trust and knowing. This throws a ball at my teaching process, my materials, everything and I’m going to have to complete these journey’s to come to the place where I am ready to teach again.

Although that could be me just dropping blibbidy-blah and the Life Force Energy could call and I would come to the occasion. 🙂 In a place of trust I listen, and the way is known.

Fear. Light. Healing.

So this becomes the real process. Broken down it’s digestible, as a whole it can feel like a mess. We suffer fear, we wake up, and healing begins. This seems to be the phases that I have experienced and this is where I am now.

I have experienced physical healing before. I have seen things I could only call miraculous as people on the brink bounce back, and ladies with fractures stand up and walk in a healing situation but this was wellness made on a whole new level for me. It’s completion. It is drawing a new circle, spiraling wide, and exploring life all over again.

I think that makes me a born again Witch. Ha. Ha! Ha.

I can only hope that all of those going through a process like this personally or socially open up to the help that is really there for us if we reach out to it. You can call it higher ideas, angelic, god, goddess, whatever you want, but it’s there and in my experience when you trust it, when you open up to that inner reflection of spirit that is reaching back to you like the Creation of Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, that things can and do change.

If you can’t find it within you…

“And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.

For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire.”

~Doreen Valiente.


I am in the midst of my awakening -Yay me!- and having what my friend Chati calls, “the delicious exchanges of energy.”

Yes. Yes I am.

Be well,

– –

Scott K Smith
http://lifencompass.com
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